the world is not enough
Ok, just look at arthurs face. that’s not the face of a man who’s madly in love with the woman he’s about to get married. She is waiting for him to put the crown on her head, whilst he can’t help it, but looks at merlin, and he’s looking at him with fear, regret, guilty, because he knows he’s giving the crown to the wrong person.
Dear Merlin…
Arthur’s sorry for many things. He’s sorry for the deaths caused by his father’s attitude towards magic. He’s sorry for tears and cries from the families that lost someone they dearly loved. He’s sorry for the war that happened. He’s sorry for the suffering that his half-sister, Morgana, must have felt.
But most of all, he’s sorry for the unsaid words he wanted to convey to his most loyal servant and friend, Merlin.
~*.*~
Dear Merlin,
I’m sorry I yell at you. I’m sorry I work you to the bone sometimes. I’m sorry I use you as an outlet for my frustration. I’m sorry I never thank you, when I know you sacrifice more for me than even I know.
I’m sorry I treat you like a slave sometimes.
We both know I don’t think of you as one, don’t we? Do you? Do you know how much I want you? How much it aches when I look at you sometimes, how much it overwhelms me to the point where I can either break down and beg, or shut off all emotion, protect my fragile heart with an insult about your intelligence? How much I need you, Merlin? How much I can’t bear to lose you?
I’m sorry I married her.
I put my duty over my feelings again. I made the choice which was for the best for Camelot, but which physically hurts me every time I see her face in the morning, realize, yet again, that it’s not you I’m waking up next to.
I’m sorry I love you.
And I’m sorry I will never be able to stop.
Yours,
Arthur.
_
The crumpled piece of torn parchment rests in the farthest corner of the king’s drawer. It will remain unseen, unknown, until the end of time.
