Every episode of TotalBiscuit and Jesse Cox’s playthrough of Terraria ever.
Finally watching the episode, and...
Jesse: I'm trying to dig here, you stupid... ass-beasts!
TotalBiscuit: Are you getting attacked by the stupid ass-beasts?
Jesse: The ass-beasts are all up in my grill, bro! All up in my grill. You know what I mean. Do you know what I am saying?
TotalBiscuit: Yes. Yes, I do. But I can now finally craft the ultimate weapon.
Jesse: Which is?
TotalBiscuit: The Night's Edge.
Jesse: Which is?
TotalBiscuit: Really big sword.
Jesse: Heh, I guess you wouldn't be used to that, so... I can't wait to see you learn how to use one.... I feel a little better about myself because of that.
A little bit later:
Jesse: You know what? You just need to find the right chasm. That's how I view life. Gotta find the right chasm to settle down in.
Realization: Jesse has "ass-beasts" in his "grill" and "can't wait to see" TB learn how to use a "really big sword", and TB is understanding about it, and chasms.... REALLY, GUYS, REALLY?
Pure talent. On many levels. Epicness, by TotalBiscuit. Vote! Reblog! Like! Share! Tophats! Anything! :D
Jesse: *grunts* OOOOOH. *falls to death*
TB: *laughs*
Jesse: YOU SON OF A BITCH.
TB: *laughs and claps*
Jesse: DAMN YOU.
TB: *laughs*
Jesse: OOOOH THERE’S A SHARK. AHHH! AHHH! NOOOOOOO.
TB: *laughs*
Jesse: ALL I HAVE IS THIS BREATHING APARATI. Oh, I’ve got a harpoon.
*silence*
Jesse: OKAY. OKAY. OKAY. OKAY.
TB: *laughs*
Jesse: I can’t really explain what’s happening here but that sucked. Kind of.
TB: Oh, that was beautiful.
Are you coming on to me?
Jesse: You're horrendously... magical.
TB: Are you coming on to me?
Jesse: That's where slash fiction comes from. I'm giving them material.
TB: Dear god...
Oh, Jesse.
Jesse: I don't know. I don't know. Again, I'm not sayin' those fanfics are right--but the pictures I've seen--it doesn't look like you're hating me, first off. And second off, I'm preeetty sure? that that hate is just latent sexual tension.
TotalBiscuit: *is distracted and set on fire* Ow!
Jesse: If I knew what latent meant, that would have more impact.
TotalBiscuit: ...Probably would.
Jesse: But it's--it's there. Just--you know.
so.... someone was asking about a TotalCox pairing song?
Jesse: Oh, I found a whole field of like, daisies 'n stuff. It's so beautifuuul! I feel like we should be holding hands and running through it. So happy togetheeeeeeer~
TotalBiscuit: I will pay you for that not to happen.
Jesse: I can't see me lovin' nobody but you, For all my liiiife~! C'mon TB, let's run through the flowers together!
TotalBiscuit: Nnn--No. NO. You couldn't pay me to do that.
Jesse: I'll pay you to do it.
TotalBiscuit: No.
Jesse: For $14.99! 'Ey, if you want to see TB and me run through a field of flowers, for only $14.99....!
as I rewatch this series I feel like I rediscover more and more innuendo
Jesse: Monsters... Always trying to eat me! I am not delicious.
TotalBiscuit: I can confirm that that is the case. I tried to eat his--
Jesse: Heheheh.
TotalBiscuit: --corpse one day.
Jesse: Oh.
TotalBiscuit: I was hungry.
Jesse: Oh... alright. I wasn't sure where that was going. I was like, "Well, okay then."
TB: I'm trying to make my way out of here. This is actually a very, very large hole.
Jesse: Heh heh heh...
TB: Jesus Christ, man, why?! It's not even funny!
Jesse: I didn't say anything! All I did was snicker! And laugh a little..
TB: You implied. It wasn't expressed saying anything, it was implied saying something.
Jesse: I don't know what you're talking about...
TB: Of course not.
TotalBiscuit and Jesse Cox Play Terraria - The complete “Jesse is bad” list
- Jesse is bad at mining
- Jesse is “turable” at mental arithmetic
- Jesse is bad at living
- Jesse is bad at death
- Jesse is bad at falling
- Jesse is bad at power ups
- Jesse is bad at helmets
- Jesse is bad at skybridges
- Jesse is bad at teamwork
- Jesse is bad at dynamite
- Jesse is bad at betrayals
- Jesse is bad at seduction
- Jesse is bad “for only $14.99”
- Jesse is bad at exploring
- Jesse is bad at monster slaying
- Jesse is bad at THE HELLEVATOR
- Jesse is bad at BEING CHICKEN
- Jesse is bad at bombs
- Jesse is bad at The Life Aquatic
- Jesse is bad at safe building practices
- Jesse is bad at having plans
- Jesse is bad at dynamite
- Jesse is bad at keeping his cool
- Jesse is bad at ammunition economy
- Jesse is bad at meteorite detection
- Jesse is bad at flattening
- Jesse is bad at anime
- Jesse is bad at burning
- Jesse is bad at global worming
- Jesse is bad at imaginary goblins
- Jesse is bad at being Bowser
- Jesse is bad at recovering lost episodes
- Jesse is bad at Gladiator…ing
- Jesse is bad at sleeping
- Jesse is bad at International Relations
- Jesse is bad at dungeoneering
- Jesse is bad at Destiny
____________________The Next World Generation____________________
- Jesse is bad at upholstery
- Jesse is bad at innuendo
- Jesse is bad at delicious candy
- Jesse is bad at PSAs (Public Service Announcements)
- Jesse is bad at treasure hunting
- Jesse is bad at being the 99%
- Jesse is bad at backstabbing
- Jesse is bad at factoids
- Jesse is bad at grenades
- Jesse is bad at expressing his feelings
- Jesse is bad at stinging like a bee
- Jesse is bad at fighting nazis
- Jesse is bad at dynamining
- Jesse is bad at varnishing
- Jesse is bad at delving
- Jesse is bad at expressing his feelings Part 2
- Jesse is bad at sticking together
- Jesse is bad at British Aristocracy
- Jesse is STILL bad at sticking together
- Jesse is bad at TOO SOON
- Jesse is bad at draining
